


Satisfaction Guaranteed

by Chantress



Series: And Yet Here We Are [7]
Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Bets & Wagers, Established Relationship, Jaskier is the Designated Lube-Getter of the relationship, Lube, Multi, Polyamory, The Fucksmith has a name now!, Top Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg, Yennefer and Jaskier's Relationship Status Is “In Cahoots With”, implied pegging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:08:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22689775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chantress/pseuds/Chantress
Summary: Geralt is still skeptical. Yennefer and Jaskier decide to raise the stakes.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg
Series: And Yet Here We Are [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1614133
Comments: 10
Kudos: 190





	Satisfaction Guaranteed

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily relies on/references other fics in this series, especially ["Sporting Wood"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22429066), ["Toss a Coin to Your Fucksmith"](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22442710), and ["Doggy Style."](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22688665)

Geralt remains even more silent than usual on the way back to their lodgings from the sex shop, but finally speaks up while Jaskier is stowing away his purchases, humming the beginnings of a new tune to himself.

"Did you have to buy _that_ much lube, Jaskier? Especially after Yen spent half a year's earnings on that new toy of hers."

"Well, I didn't _have_ to," Jaskier says, "but I for one like to be prepared."

Yennefer rolls her eyes at the pun. "That was terrible, even for you."

Jaskier grins and kisses her on the cheek. "Thank you."

"Even so," Geralt continues, "we had plenty of lube already."

"Yes, but not strawberry flavored! And _this_ one heats up slightly on contact! And _these_ can also be used as massage oil, which I'm sure even you will agree is very handy indeed, given how often your Witchering leads to aches and pains of the decidedly unsexy sort."

Geralt still looks thoroughly unconvinced.

Jaskier puts his hands on his hips and glares at him. " _Dog tallow_ , Geralt."

Geralt hmphs under his breath, but offers no further complaints about the lube situation.

Yennefer raises an eyebrow at Jaskier, the beginnings of a wicked smile hovering on her lips. "'Dog tallow'? There's a story there, I can tell."

Geralt sinks down onto the bed and buries his face in his hands. "Please do not tell her about the fucking dog tallow, Jaskier."

"Not to worry, my lips are sealed," Jaskier says, patting him on the shoulder. "Incidentally, I'm going to take our lovely sorceress downstairs now for a glass of wine and some lively conversation on completely unrelated topics."

Geralt makes a muffled yet eloquently disgruntled noise.

"We'll be back soon," Yennefer promises, kissing the crown of Geralt's head. "And then we're going to prove to you that the afternoon's purchases are worth every single coin we paid for them."

Geralt looks up at her, amber eyes narrowed. "Somehow I doubt it'll be _that_ good."

Yennefer grins. "Shall we make it a wager?"

"What do you have in mind?" Geralt asks, looking from her to Jaskier.

"Well," Jaskier says, "if it's not simply _the_ best fuck you've ever had, Yennefer and I will admit you were right about it being a frivolous purchase and you can feel free to mock us about it for the rest of our days."

"And if it is?"

"If it is," Yennefer says, tracing a finger down Geralt's cheek, "then you'll save up all your earnings from the next six months of monster slaying, take them down to Mistress Ayliss's shop, and give the craftswoman her proper due-- _including_ telling her how much you enjoyed her work. Fair?"

"Fair," Geralt says after a moment's thought.

"Good," Jaskier says, leaning down to give him a quick kiss before taking Yennefer's arm to escort her downstairs for that promised glass of wine and discussion of definitely non-canine matters.

"Oh, and Geralt?" Yennefer pauses at the doorway and gives him a pointed look. "I'd suggest you start making use of our bard's new purchases while we're gone. Unless, of course, you're still too disgusted with the expense and would prefer to do without."

"Yen--!"

Laughing merrily, Yennefer and Jaskier shut the door on their spluttering lover. The evening to come is sure to be a _most_ interesting one.

**Author's Note:**

> Someday I may actually write about Geralt's first time getting pegged with Yen's fancy new strap-on, but _it is not this day._ :P

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Satisfaction Guaranteed](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24384631) by [Chantress](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chantress/pseuds/Chantress)




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